ril's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Clicking... Clicking� There I was� minding my own business� when I met HER. She talked... I listened to what she had to say... about the events of her life� the hopes� the dreams... the doubts� the struggles� and my only coherent thought was that this woman was just� just� AWESOME! (I checked my thesaurus, and I was right the first time� it�s the only word that really fits� AWESOME!). Intelligent with a rapier wit� soft but not weak -- strong in fact� but so _very_ feminine� and something just CLICKED� that�s all� (her words, but mine too). Am I better or worse off than I was before� to have found someone I want to be closer to, and yet know that I probably (almost certainly) can�t have? How could I possibly live with myself if I didn�t spend as much time as possible getting to know her better? But, then again, am I setting myself up for a pre-destined fall if I let myself become too close? I think about her� I think about her a lot� like yesterday (when I should have been working)� like today (when I couldn�t talk to her because I _was_ working)� like now (when I should be sleeping)� and I wish she were closer� but I�m also glad she�s not because I�d want to be with her even more� to BE with her� She told me that I made her happy when I extended her a simple courtesy� that made me happy� but I didn�t tell her that... I was afraid that she would think I was just being a dork� so I smiled on the inside� afraid I was the only one who felt any connection at all� afraid� and I suppose I still am� There�s a part of me that thinks I�m being unrealistic� that thinks I should just get over it� and then I remember� She is AWESOME! - 2001-12-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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