ril's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frequent Flyer Frequent Flyer This is nuts� just plain nuts� er, make that �plane� nuts� For a variety of reasons (job interview, family, personal, what have you) I am about to embark on a whirlwind tour of the country� Utah, Texas, Colorado, Illinois, and Nevada in the next month and a half� I feel like a friggin� minor league baseball scout... What torques me off the most is that I did it to myself. I didn�t _mean_ to� each of these trips have different purposes (well, the Illinois and Nevada trips are sort of related, but that�s not the point)� and I really want to do go on each of them� so, scheduling the later-planned trips around �other commitments� (which turned out to be earlier-planned trips) means that I�m going to be spending a good part of the next couple of weeks at airports� oh boy� The one I�m most excited about? Utah! Until the year before last I�d never been there� but a friend of mine (who happens to play football for BYU) invited me out to go climbing and rafting with him� we met some other people who invited us to go canyoneering (old guy on a rope.. that�s me)� and then I got invited back by some other people I�d met to go snowmobiling for my birthday� now, I�m not a big fan of cold weather (at all), but I�ve been promised that I�ll have a good time and we scheduled the trip to be over Super Bowl weekend, too� woo hoo! Shifting gears� I�ve been giving a lot of thought to a couple of things I�ve written in earlier posts� the one that got away (which I won�t write any more about here except to say that I�m still thinking about her)� and the whole �sparkles� thing� A friend of mine is visiting. It isn�t the one who visited last year (with such disappointing results), but the idea behind the visit is sort of along the same lines� and can I just say right here that it bothers me� it bothers me a whole damned lot, in fact� And what bothers me most I think is that I still don�t know if I�ve got my head on straight enough to be able to react �correctly.� I mean, if you find someone who you enjoy talking to� who makes you laugh� who makes you think� who makes you feel good about yourself� and whom you find attractive� then wouldn�t it be �normal� to feel _something_ (even if it were only strong �like�) for them? I don�t think I do� and, if I knew that it was as simple as her just not being the right person then I�d be alright with it� but I don�t� I really am worried that I may not be able to feel �that way� for anyone any more�. and I _really_ want to� even if it takes some time� Shifting gears again� having spent a fair amount of time these past few weeks reading literally hundreds of online journals� I want to say that Under the Microscope ROCKS! (woo hoo! LOOK AT ME... I learned how to insert a link into my page *feeling _very_ smug with myself, thank you very much... bring on the MSCE* Peace. Out. - 2002-01-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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