ril's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Going Home Going Home My first trip home in just over a year has caused me to do the kind of thinking that drives me to seek comfort� companionship� reassurance� and that, infallibly, leads me to write. I am not a great writer and I suppose that, truth be told, I do not have a burning desire to become one. My desire is to reduce to black and white the thoughts and emotions I have� and perhaps more importantly, the intensity with which I feel them. I suppose that, if I were successful (which I have never quite been) then I�d be at least a good writer� but that�s not the purpose of this exercise. If you�d asked be � in a hypothetical sense, at least � could have told you that I knew it all along� but I didn�t really� it may have been something I knew, but it wasn�t something I knew� but I know it now� more than I ever have before� and I do not like it� my parents will not be here forever� I had thought about skipping the trip home this year (you know, just too busy and all). I�ve been to Las Vegas this summer� I even spent a week in Belize� but just couldn�t quite find the time to make it home� And then I got an unexpected visit from an old friend� She (whom I�ve know for about 7-8 years now) explained to me that I was thinking about things all wrong� (not the first time I�ve had someone make that observation).. you see, I was thinking that I had another 20 years or so to see my family� I mean, my Dad isn�t quite old enough to Social Security for cryin� out loud� but nope� I was wrong� as my friend explained it to me, since I was only making back to Texas about once a year or so, I could only expect to see me parents about 20 more times� I booked a flight that very day� I see them getting older now� not amazingly so, but noticeable� and I do not like it� - 2002-09-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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