ril's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Confirmation Wow� I must have stirred a hornet�s nest with the angst-ridden diatribe I sent out on New Year�s Eve� I am surprised not so much that I got responses from the people I did, but rather with the range of tone in the responses� and the fact that the �expected� responses didn�t come from the expected people� The first Mrs. Me (from whom I�ve been divorced 19 years now, and have seen only once since then � about 10 years ago � though we do stay in semi-contact) said:
Remember the double rainbow in (I forgot the name of the town we lived in Illinois)? You ran back and got the camera and had to get that picture. The weekend we slept on the floor? There are a lot of memories like that I remember, and as time goes on, the negative memories are starting to get pushed back some. � I saw you, so young and full of yourself, so confident. I was just a scared young thing out in the world without her mommy for the first time. You made me feel safe. � don't think for a moment that I don't think about those 6 years. *me speechless* I� just� don�t know what to say to that� she (as she occasionally does) just put me right into place with a few simple words� One of the people I�ve written about before in this journal said:
But anyway, chin up my friend. Self reflection is good. But look at the whole picture! My memories of our time are dear to my heart. I think of you and smile often, and wonder about that lost opportunity too. One of my married friends said this:
Even though I�m completely lost as to how my little rant got elevated to something someone �needed� to read, I guess I�m glad I wrote (and sent) the letter I did to the people I did. I was worried� I don�t like exposing the soft, white underbelly of the beast I pretend to be. I guess the thing I take from the experience so far is that, even though I don�t necessarily see it on a daily or even regular basis, the relationships of my past are not really �gone.� They�re not what they once were, to be sure, but I really am as much a part of other people�s lives as they are of mine� and I suppose that�s all any of us can ask.
On a completely unrelated topic� thanks (you know who you are). It really helps to receive some sort of confirmation that there are �live� people behind this cyberspace thing� and it helps a ton when the �live� people are those that, through sharing their own thoughts, hopes, fears, and follies give you comfort that there are people worth knowing out there. 5:32 p.m. - 2006-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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