ril's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Intimidation Intimidation I am not easily intimidated. Despite my open-for-display sausage-making about the inner workings of male/female relationships, I have a HUGE ego (you might have already figured that out). Even though I recognize and appreciate that many people possess talents and abilities that are far greater than mine in a particular field, many of which I will never have to any measurable degree, I generally assume I'm the smartest person in any room I'm in... such is the arrogance of being me. I am not especially good looking, but confidence counts... I can often attract women who are "out of my league" simply by being larger than life. I have no earthly idea why women find that sort of thing attractive, but they apparently do... and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (umm.... so to speak). I am not especially well-off financially, but I do alright... I learned long ago that no matter what sort of "thing" I have, I won't have to look very hard (or far) to discover that someone else has a bigger, better, newer "thing" than mine... still, as I've said before, there are a lot more people who would like to trade places with me than the other way around... But (and you had to see the "But" coming, didn't you?)... I've been intimidated by a small, blank box... the place where I'm supposed to write some sort of introductory information to the (as yet unknown) future love of my life there on the online dating service I joined the other day... They have found the chink in my armor. My communication skills come in 2 flavors... one-on-one and large audiences. That's it... for almost every other audience in-between my arrogance doesn't play well... individual people who get past the fa�ade ignore my boisterous bravado (mostly because they are the kind of people who are secure enough in themselves that they never took it seriously to begin with -- which I admire about them)... in large audiences, my chutzpah comes across as showmanship -- and so is generally forgiven if not appreciated. So... here I am... intimidated by a blank space... not sure how to come across as "confident" without being cocky... "self-assured" without being arrogant... and this is hard for me because... mostly... I am both of those. - 2006-01-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||